Caricature of Myself

Yet another catch up post. Spring Break is what got me off track this time!

I worked more on my sock but haven't made as much progress as I'd like. I'm still trying to shoot for finishing the socks by the end of the month. Since I barely knit at all over the past week though . . . it might not happen. I did clean out my knitting bag before I traveled for break and that has made things a lot easier. Somehow a nice neat bag makes me want to knit more. Less chaos in finding things I need I guess.

I've also slacked off just as much on studying. Last Sunday I had just driven home the day before and was pooped. Plus my parents wanted to do stuff together. Today I'm allowing myself to be lazy for the same reasons really. I drove 11 hours yesterday to get back to my place, and nothing is going to explode, no one will die, if I don't get reading done for tomorrow. And I'm trying not to feel guilty either. There is only so much I can take. Mentally I have been done with school for a while. I will get myself back on track this week and I will make a plan to start getting ready for finals. I am trying, maybe not my best, but I really am just happy to graduate and then work my tail off for the Bar exam. Not really anything to be ashamed of, right?

Last week was crazy - CRAZY I tell you!

I spent a great portion of the past weekends and last week studying for my standardized exam - which I took on March 8th, this past Saturday. All I could really keep my mind on all last week was getting through it. Then Saturday after the test I totally crashed. I spent most of yesterday just doing lazy type things, and picking up a copy of Smash Bros. Brawl to have more Wii fun.

Of course the craziness meant I totally forgot to post! I definitely want to keep going with these posts so I'll just play catch up today.

WIP Stuff
Lets see - Monday of last week (March 3rd) I started socks! I'm using the wonderful TSock 101 Kit, purchased from the marvelous Tsarina and Jen. The kit is awesome. A long time ago I received wonderful instructions on sock knitting from a swap. But they just didn't get through my thick noggin'. I kind of gave up on socks after that. Well now a few years later, and thanks to Ravelry, I connected with amazing sock knitters and got the kit which is making total sense to me.

I started a lovely toe up sock and adore it already. I had some concerns about fit, at first, but now about an inch or two into it I think it's probably fine. And hey - if it's not - I can fix it to fit my foot! Having socks that fit my tiny-ish feet will be awesome. Typical store socks are usually too big. And now I feel like a whole world more of knitting has opened up to me. There are some amazing sock patterns out there that I can't wait to give a try!

I really do need to keep plugging away at my half finished projects though too. Having something fresh to work on for March is a nice change. I'm hoping to finish my first pair of socks by the end of the month latest. Then April I will totally focus on finishing all the second arm warmers/mitts I need to make, and plug away at my scarf projects as well. But for now - socks!

Study Sunday Stuff
Most of my Sundays have been wrapped up studying for my exam. I gave myself the day off from work yesterday because I really needed to keep destressing. This upcoming Sunday I will be at my parents for the week of Spring Break. I'm excited to get home to see my family and the animals! Of course this probably means I won't be doing school work. Especially since I'll be driving home Saturday and that usually takes a lot out of me, being an 11 hour (sometimes longer) drive. Hopefully I will get extra work done during the week though. My parents will be working all week so I'll have time to do some chores around the house to prepare for moving back there in May, and hopefully get some preparation for finals done. 3 of my 4 exams are take home exams, I get to either write a paper or write the exam answers at home. Which means I can use any books and notes I want, and in turn that means I really don't need to get my materials together the same way I would for an exam without them. So the plan right now is to make sure my 1 "in class" (no notes, taking it at the school with a time limit, etc) exam I start getting ready for. I'll need to be able to study very efficiently for it. I try to take class notes that are easy to study from but I really need to go through and make sure I put notes from the book into my class notes. Shouldn't be too hard. The class is actually quite interesting and the book highly readable.

So that's the plan in regards to that! This week my only goal is to just keep up. I've been doing fairly well at utilizing my time between classes to read for the next day, and on a fairly good read at home schedule for the rest. Having a week off next week makes it easier to get things done too - because I can tell myself "Only 4 more days till a vacation!"

I think that catches things up. Woo!

Woops! I missed WIP Wednesday . . . on Wednesday. So I'm posting now instead as I have a few minutes while my brain is absorbing my studies for the day.

I sadly must report it was a tragic week in knitting for me. I thought I'd finally finished the first of my arm warmers. I bind off and go to try it on and it's way, way, WAY too small. I thought it might just be my bind off but after ripping it back out and trying again with a different technique . . . nope! Still too tight. WAY too tight. So I started measuring. The ribbing portion had enough give to go up my arm. But the stockinette cuff portion, even with two increases, was almost an inch too small on give to go over my arm, elbow, and above. Ugh! This is why the pattern so desperately needed finished measurements. You know, about what size arm it fits. Because obviously its not supposed to fit mine! I was getting gauge, so, I knew it wasn't that either.

After being really upset for a while I realized it was a learning experience. I've never really knit anything where I had to worry about fit for a larger portion of my body. I mean, hats are one thing. And my Endpaper Mitts only cover a small portion of my arm, so, fit there wasn't really a big deal either. Once I saw the ribbing fit I didn't need to worry. But these? Definitely a larger project. Plus, I've never ripped anything out and restarted it from a point in the project. I now have experience doing that - woohoo! Seriously, ripping out and restarting without totally redoing always scared me. But now I feel utterly more capable and confident.

I'm going to get some work done on them tonight I hope. I sort of put it aside for a few days because I was getting too obsessive about it. Tonight I'm going to put in a life line and start the cuff. The warmer will end below my elbow as well. Considering the many layers I usually wear I think that would be a better place to stop anyway. And if I ever want to try above the elbow length again I have a much better idea about how much I need to check size as I go, and how following the pattern might not be the best thing! No offense to the writer, but, for a beginner with no ideas about how to check sizing, or stretch, or whatnot, this pattern was not informative enough.

Still, the parts I could get on I loved. It was so soft and squishy and warm. I can't wait to finish them up to wear them still. Hardships in the making aside.

I also hope to start socks sometime this weekend. Well, today, Saturday, is almost over, so probably tomorrow. I want March to be my month where I continue to finish WIPs, but I also really am dying to make socks. So I'll allow myself to start.

I've actually been quite good this week. Despite my large increase in effort I still don't feel good about myself though. But I think I might be being too hard on myself.

There is way too much work to do. I cannot, no way, no how, get all of it done. Usually I slack off and attribute my not getting everything done to being slackery and lazy. I think I found this week entirely frustrating because I'm not slacking off. I'm trying really hard. And I still can't get everything done. Part of me feels like I should be able to somehow. But not with a standardized test to study for. That is the biggest thing.

This week I managed to keep up with my class reading. And this weekend I've managed to get a lot more done for class than usual. But I still have a very lengthy book I haven't finished. And it's for a class with a paper. And the paper is due next Tuesday (not the Tuesday coming up but the one after). Hypothetically I would take the weekend to write it. He's not asking for anything very long. But the problem is I haven't truly paid attention to the material, the 4-5 books we've read, for the class. And the paper is solely on that. I can't bullshit some cases and throw in the books. It's just the books. And the weekend I'd normally use to write it is the last weekend I have before my standardized test.

Which leaves me with a work quandary. Do I give up all my personal time this week to either study or write the paper (because I'll have to read more of these books in order to bullshit the paper) - or do I stick with status quo and hope to squeeze things in somehow?

Because the thing is . . . I do realize I spend a lot of time not doing school work. I spend time playing computer games, or DS games, reading my own pleasure books, knitting and watching movies. But honestly, how am I supposed to keep my spirits up if all I do is work all the time? How is my brain supposed to handle the stress of constantly trying to shove new information in it if I don't take breaks? Maybe if I loved school. Maybe if this was material I really cared about. Undergrad . . . I did work all the time. Sure I spent time relaxing but I was much more willing to do work then too. Why? Because I loved philosophy. I got a lot of pleasure out of learning it. The shit now? I just don't care. It's not going to help me get a job. I don't find it that particularly stimulating. I'm not sure if that is my own fault, the fault of the school, the professors, a mix, what have you. But I just don't. And it's almost like self-torture to revoke the time I do relax in order to do work.

I really ought to spend all my time working though. The test I have to take will be over in less than two weeks. I'm a trooper. I can survive two weeks of reduced "fun" time in order to get everything done. Hell, if I psych myself up enough to do this, it might not even wind up taking as long as my nightmare of it is thinking it will. I just have to do it. Because I have to. Because I made a choice that brought me here and now I have to fulfill my commitment. Whether I like it or not.

This is really hard. And not because I'm stupid or lazy - hell - I spent way more time working on school stuff this weekend than all my personal time combined. It's hard because I hate it. And it won't help me with my life. Honestly. Believe me. It won't. So it feels so pointless as well. But I only have about 3 more months of this. I just have to do it.

Well I'm feeling a bit under the weather. That is hampering my knitting. Mostly because I just want to sit mindlessly watching a DVD and pass out. Still, I made some great strides the past week.

First, I finished my hat for Hat Attack! Hat Attack was so much fun. And I now have way more confidence about my abilities. I also have a better idea of how to plan my time and how long it'll take me to knit things like this. I will definitely be signing up for the next Hat Attack in the fall.

The hat I made I loved - so I'm planning to make another with some pink Lamb's Pride I picked up at the same time I got the red for the attack. I also have a lovely yellow version, which goes great with my brown jacket, which my assassin sent.

It fits perfectly and is super warm. I really can't believe how much I am loving hats lately. I used to be anti-hat. I thought they made me look goofy and made my hair all crazy. I do have to finagle my hair into cooperation but whatever. I'd much rather have a warm head than perfect hair.

Anyway - I am in love with hat knitting. I plan to make many many more.

But I have to finish some things first - namely I must get my arm warmers and Endpaper Mitts finished. It will be a relief to have them done, plus, I'll get to wear them! I'm realizing my biggest issue getting through the alpaca arm warmers is I have no idea how much further I have to go. My recent projects, the hats, had definite markers - 4 chart repeats or 30 rows - etc etc. I could clearly see where I was and how much I had left. The arm warmers are like a knitting vortex. I need to get them up to 13 inches long to fit my arm properly. But how many more rounds is that?! I have no clue. I've tried measuring an inch of stitches - and my guesstimate was 30 more rounds. But I have this sinking feeling I'll get those done and still have more to go. I love the yarn and I want the arm warmer . . .  but it's taking forever! And thinking about having to make a second one?! ARGH! At least the second one I will have an idea how many rounds I have to do because I can count my first.

The Endpaper Mitts went fast, at least the one I've made, the first time so it's just a matter of getting to them.

After those are done I want to try out my first pair of socks! Hopefully I can start the socks sometime in March. At least that is my current goal. I'd also like to make some progress on My So Called Scarf that goes with my Koolhaas. That is easy knitting but once again, like the arm warmers, will be endless repeats of the same thing until I get the right length. At least that one uses bigger needles than the arm warmers and is knit straight . . . just makes things a bit easier.

So that is the plan. I'm hoping by next week I can have the arm armers done. It's a bit of a stretch goal for me but I think I can do it. I just have to focus like I did for Hat Attack and knit every possible second I can!

Okay so I missed Study Sunday last week (#5). Honestly there wasn't much to report so why bother? There really isn't that much this week either but for the sake of finishing things I start I'm going to keep going on it.

I've been better about reading for class the past two weeks but it still isn't good enough. I need to do more. I really need to micro-manage my schedule. When I write things down I do them. When I let myself run around improvising things I get super lazy. I mean, even having a list doesn't guarantee I won't be lazy, but it significantly decreases the odds. Even if I spend an hour more a night (some nights I'm doing nothing, so, taking up an hour isn't really a huge sacrifice) reading for class I'll be in much better shape. So the plan today is to write out in my planner my schedule. I'll still have plenty of nightly time for relaxing and knitting and the like even if I pick up an hour of reading. The satisfaction of having done work is worth giving up some "free" time.

The other thing I really need to crack down on is studying for the standardized test I have coming up on March 8th. I'm really not in a pickle yet as I had a class on the materials already. So I'm not going in cold. But I desperately need to review and learn any rules that weren't taught in the class. And I need to do practice tests. I have 3 work weeks, 2 weekends, before the exam. It's not a ton of time. I do wish I'd started studying last weekend, or this weekend . . . but what can ya' do? I might review a few pages of my review book tonight just for good measure. If I do a few pages a day I can probably get through the entire book within a week, do a practice test this weekend, see what I messed up, review the book a 2nd time, do another practice (or two) the weekend after next, and then have the work week before the exam to review again. Supposedly it isn't that big of a deal, exam wise, but knowing me and my anxiety I need to be super prepared and take a bunch of practice exams. It can't hurt.

So, the big things, scheduling and the exam stuff. It really is good I make these posts. Helps me assess where I am and what I need to get done, even if I have nothing major to report.

So - my assassin mailed my hat of doom to me on Monday, from a location a mere 3 hours away. I fully expected to receive my death Tuesday or Wednesday latest. Here it is Friday and the mail already came and nothing. If I can sneak by tomorrow that gives me a whole extra weekend of knitting time I wasn't planning on.

Considering I've gotten chores done today and have actually be reading for class this week my weekend time is fairly free. My death extension has given me a new lease on my knitting life too and I intend to knit knit knit like there is no tomorrow.

Well . . . I'll start after dinner. Right now my achy hands (stupid cold weather!) are begging for a breather. I better not over do it and get a knitting related injury that deters me from finishing my hat!

I really wish I'd posted about finishing things - because I actually did this week!! - but now I can't recall every little detail I wanted to write about.

Lets see . . . on Thursday, February 7th, I finished my Gnome. He's not perfect - I made a lot of boo-boos. But I have a good jumping off point to make another - which I probably will. I'm going to modify it to make it a girl though. With a cute little dress!

Saturday February 9th I finished my Koolhaas which I was very pleased with. I don't think I messed up once! I need to wash it and see if I can stretch it out a little bit to even off the ribbing, and to maybe get just a tiny bit more length. I prefer my hats to be a little bit longer - mostly because of my hair. But I've already proudly worn it out and about and someone here at school, who knows I knit, was shocked when I said I made it! I think he thought I was a big liar about knitting ;).

Anyway - the to-do list for this week has been Hat Attack! hat (which I'm not going to get finished before my hat of death shows up . . . *sigh!*) and I really am gung ho about finishing my alpaca arm warmers. It's just a lot of ribbing with thin-ish yarn. If I can work diligently I'm pretty sure I can get them done in a week. It has to be the only thing I work on though and I have to keep up my current routine of knitting every chance I get. Which I've been highly enjoying. If my hands are idle, I should be knitting! Even a few rows when doing things like waiting for water to boil for pasta. Assuming I'm not reading for class. Actually I'm hoping I can practice knitting without looking using the arm warmers. Then I can read for class and knit, which would be wonderful.

So this was a good week! Two finished objects, diligent work on Hat Attack! (which was fun to be in and I'll do it again - only next time I must be more prepared for war!), finding out I have way more knitting time each day if I knit when waiting for things or whatnot, and a plan of action for the upcoming week. Go me!

I've made a lot of progress on my hat but it's still slow going. I was struggling with the cable needle, which wasn't really appropriate for the yarn or the regular needle size of the project. I switched to just using a split ring stitch marker and it's definitely going faster. No more worry about the cable needle falling out, or having it in the way. I pretty much have to finish this within the next two days though - I need to get ready for Hat Attack! I don't think I'll have time to swatch so I'll be living on the edge, jumping right into the pattern when we get it, and having to test gauge then. Despite never going swatches I generally have pretty darn close gauge. At least the times I've checked. So chances are good I will this time too.

I've also been working hard this week to finish my Amigurumi Garden Gnome - Gary. I completed him tonight and just need to make the little accessories which should go quickly. I have a lot of free time tomorrow so I'll likely get it done then. Having a finished object will be uplifting and hopefully lifted spirits will help me blast right through my Koolhaas.

Gary has been an adventure. I'll write a more full summary when I finish him, but, I struggled with some of the assembly tonight and it made me cranky. Mostly because I don't know what I'm doing. Even so I was pleased with the adjustments I made to his arm attachment. I was not so happy with the felt buckle. I think I might make a girl gnome at some point to go with him - but instead of a belt and such I'll make her a little dress I think. And if I make a boy gnome again I'm definitely going to rework the buckle issue. I'll either crochet one and attach that or just omit it completely. It was way too frustrating for me.

Happily progress on things has been made this week! I really do need to finish the hat though. Not only to be ready for Hat Attack! but because it's so freakin' cold and I really need it so I can wear it!

Wow, we're up to the 4th Sunday of the semester already! My how time . . . okay it hasn't flown at all who am I kidding!

Despite the dragging of the cosmos I haven't done much studying. Other issues have made successful bids for my time and reading for class and getting notes ready for finals and whatever has fallen to the wayside. I have to admit that most of my slacking is because I am just so sick of school. I am over being ready to be done. I think mentally I already am done.

Tonight still holds promise though, as does the week ahead. There is no way at this point I'll get all my reading for tomorrow done. But I'm going to make an effort to try to get some done for the discussion class I have tomorrow afternoon/evening. That class is going to be utterly mind numbing if I have no idea what they're talking about. And tomorrow I should have some time to get things done, though, with errands needing to be run, we'll see. I really don't want to wait till after classes to do errands, especially because I'll be taking the bus home and probably not get home till 6PM. But if I go between my morning and afternoon classes I'll have no time to read.

Running to the post office at the last minute does not sound like my idea of  good time though. So it's highly likely I'll go between classes.

I really do care about my school work - why write up these blog posts if I didn't give a hoot? The thing is I truly have had life issues getting in the way. And since school has basically become my last priority, I'm just letting things go undone so I can at least relax some of the time. I do want to try to get things done more. Even if I only devote an hour a night during the week, and lets say, 4-5 on weekends, I should get a fair amount of reading accomplished. So I'm going to try to schedule myself better so I can do that.

I also need to start studying for my stupid standardized test I have to take March 8th. I suck at standardized tests. And I'm a tiny bit bitter I'm forced to take yet another exam on top of everything else. But that's what I have to do I guess. I fully believe I am not going to get a score good enough though. I think I'll pass, but, some states require more than that. I don't think I'm going to get it. And it isn't me being a downer either - I'm being realistic. It's just how things go for me. I most definitely will begin studying for it though. If I miss the score I need by a point or two I'll be pissed, but at least I'll know I'm able to get it. My second time taking exams I always do better. So I'm definitely going to try my hardest. I'm just not very optimistic about the outcome.

That seems to be going on a lot in my life lately. If I'm realistic about things . . . I see . . . they aren't going to go my way.